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So, this being October, I made the all important Birthday List; the list of things that I wish for my nearest and dearest to give to me. I always feel weird writing it. Itapos;s not that I donapos;t want things. Hell, there are tons of things I want.�I just donapos;t like listing them out for people. Makes me feel greedy. So I ended up with only about seven things on the list, though given some time, I could probably list about three dozen more. Then I got to thinking, more than just these things, there are some gifts I would love above all else. Unfortunately, theyapos;re not the sort of things you can buy and giftwrap. For those that are interested, this is my Real Birthday List;

1. More Confidence. I spend so much time as a paranoid mess, certain that the whole world is going to come down around my ears, that frankly Iapos;m sick of it. Just for a while, I wish I wasnapos;t so scared of everything.

2. Broader Taste Palette. Things would probably be so much easier, not to mention healthier, if I could just eat the foods that are good for me without gagging.

3. Longer Attention Span. There are so many things in the world to do. And during the course of my lifetime, Iapos;ll probably do all of them. Unfortunately, Iapos;ll only start all of them; never finish anything. Which is better, to do a little of everything before getting distracted by the next, or doing a limited number of things really well?

4. An Instruction Manuel. So Iapos;m almost a quarter of a century old, and I have absolutely no idea what to do with the rest of my life. I thought as least Iapos;d have an inkling by now, but Iapos;m just as lost as I was when I graduated high school. One of my coworkers says that thereapos;s something that every person is meant to do, itapos;s only a question of finding it. Of course, sheapos;s in her forties and still looking, which is not giving me much hope that Iapos;ll find my own true goal in life before I die. But Iapos;m pretty good at following directions (tab A into slot B) so maybe if somebody just pointed me in the right direction, I could actually get this journey started.

5. World Peace. For Godapos;s sake people, get over yourselves and quit fucking up the planet People actually gotta live here, you know Have some respect, you morons

And thatapos;s all I want. No, really. Okay, a million dollars would be nice too.

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